Doing the Devil's Dirty Work.

Watching believers do the devil's dirty work has got to be one of the most heartbreaking aspects of this past year. 

I wrote about this topic from a different perspective in may, but here is what I am still finding in "the American Church":

 A   LACK   OF   H U M I L I T Y.

What is bringing this thought on, Shauna?

Great question. 

And here is my answer: Politics and Social Media.

Just a couple of days ago, the media decided to "call the election" and declared Biden the winner of the 2020 Presidential Election.

That did not shock me as much as much as watching believers take to social media to make not just their opinions knowns, but their beliefs, conscience's and quite honestly, judgements known.

I've seen statements like, "I don't know how or think someone can be a Christian and believe x,y,z", "I wouldn't want that blood on my hands" and even, "if you voted for Biden/Trump, I have every right to question your [Christian] character and integrity and to take you out of my life."

Exact statements.

From both sides.

From believers.

So tell me: Who's right? If "both" Christians have the Holy Spirit inside of them and if "both" Christians are truly voting according to their conscience?

When contemplating -- and watching-- all of this happen the past 48 hours (and let's be honest, the last several months), a passage from Scripture comes to mind. To preface this, it is not a perfect example of the current situation, but one that I feel is applicable.

In 1 Corinthians 10, Paul is exhorting the believers in Corinth to, well, do a lot, but to encourage them to prefer one another over themselves. The issue at hand: is eating meat sacrificed to idols a sin? And because this is not a hot topic in our day and age, let us briefly unpack this topic. In ancient day Greece, Corinth was the epi-center for gods & goddesses- a belief system. One had hundreds of gods and goddesses to choose from, and you could offer sacrifices to them. Slaughtering an animal, being one of the ways that they offered sacrifices to whatever God they chose. In turn, the temples then sold the meat left from the carcasses for a profit. People could then go to the market and purchase this meat. The profits then, in many if not most cases, went right back to the temple(s) where people were sacrificing to these gods & goddesses. 

Back to the Scripture passage, starting in verse 18: Consider the people of Israel: are not those who eat the sacrifices participants in the altar?... that food offered to idols is anything, or that an idol is anything? No, I imply that what pagans sacrifice they offer to demons and not to God. I do not want you to be participants with demons..." ie, don't give thanks to the demons for what you're about to eat, or be thankful someone sacrificed an animal to a god for what you are about to eat. For, in verse 26 we read, "For the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof."

A verse down in 27 we read, "If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. But if someone says to you, "this has been offered...", then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience-- I do not mean your conscience, but his."

So what is Paul saying this people? 

Eat the meet and give thanks to God! For it comes from Him! But, if you get the hint from your friend or a stranger that it would offend them to eat it- then don't! And give thanks to the Lord for what you do eat- because it all comes from Him anyways! Oh, and don't seek to pump yourself up with your liberty to do so! It gives more glory to God to preserve someone's conscience then to do what it is you feel you have the freedom to do!

How does this relate to politics and social media?

I see too many believers declaring that their way is the only one, and slapping their declarative opinions in the faces of others. And I see too many believers judging others for either not having their same ideas & believing that God can only be in their beliefs. Basically, there are too many Christians out here eating meat in front of people that find it offensive.

Now obviously, things like murder, abortion, etc: wrong wrong wrong... but who a person votes for? A personal choice. And why do I believe it is a personal choice? Because at least in America, as much power as the President holds, he is not the only one making decisions for our country. (And I know that there is a lot more to it than that, but, I'm keeping it generalized for the sake of this post.)

The most wrong thing a believer could do is to go against their conscience. In fact, James 4:17 tells us, "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin." ie: if you go against your conscience, you are sinning.

Back to to politics: Let me give the most declarative and bold statement I can give: BOTH CANDIDATES ARE SKETCHY AND MOST LIKELY  NOT DESERVING OF THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY. That's why voting on a candidates' platform- and for the Senators & Representatives of each state  was so, SO important this year (and every year, but I digress.) 

The issues of abortion, immigration, Covid-19 policies, etc are near and dear to the Father's heart- as they should be ours. So here are some questions for us to consider as we enter conversations on these topics:

1.) Is who your friend (or social media friend) voted for more important than your personal relationship with them?

2.) Are your words speaking life into someone? Or are they speaking condemnation?

3.) Are you holding people's souls as importantly & as tenderly as God has called you to do?

4.) Are you viewing your opinion as more important than theirs? 

5.) Are you listening to others to truly understand where they are coming from, or are you mostly only reacting to what they are saying?

And what is the underlying theme in each of these questions? HUMLITY. 

Let's look super briefly on the topic of humility & the tongue.

1 Corinthians 10:24: Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8:Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all thing. Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 14:1: Pursue Love

Galatians 5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Galatians 6:10: So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Ephesians 6:12: We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Colossians 3:12-13: Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

James 3:13, 17-18: Who is wise and understanding among you? by his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom... but the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

James 4:1: What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

James 5:16: Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

James 5: 19-20: If anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back (ie, discipleship) let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

And last but not least: Matthew 7:1-5: Judge not, that you be not judged. for with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?.... You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

And those are just a few verses.

The reality is this: You're never going to influence -or disciple people- by yelling at them. You're never going to influence people by condemning them. You're never going to influence people by discarding them. 

Jesus did not go around condemning people to hell.

Jesus did not go around and demand perfection before they followed Him.

Jesus did not go around and make sure that he knew & understood every person's political stance before He began discipling them.

Spiritual maturity takes time... years even [sometimes]. 

And sometimes there is just a differing of opinions (research the Apostle Paul his disagreements with other disciples for studies on that.)

Now, do not hear what I am not saying: 
I am not saying do not vote.

I am not saying do not share an opinion.

I am not saying to not stand up & against evil.

What I am reminding us of is this: We will never win people to Jesus or influence other's by yelling or demeaning them or by just throwing Scripture at them and walking away. We will never win people to Jesus by caring more about the "do's and don't" than we do their souls and hearts. (Research God's wanting to obliterate Job's friends- Job 42:7-8.)

Again, sin is sin and there are for sure times and places we need to speak that.

But more than likely, it is with a close friend or mentee when we're out for coffee.

Or it's in a private conversation with someone, in email or over messenger even.... but not where hundreds (or thousands) of others can witness the fighting.

It may be a bold statement but what I don't imagine Jesus doing is discrediting or discarding believers. Maybe He'd put up a healthy boundary. (But let's be serious, because Jesus has the heart of the Father and eternal-unending-patience so He can handle it.) I'm sure Jesus would take (and he did) people aside and say, "Bro: what are you doing?" -- But those conversations would always come from the perfect heart of God.

Because, if we are engaging in the opposite of the heart of God and we are taking it upon ourselves to judge others, then we're only doing the dirty work of the devil: causing and stirring up division. And as Proverbs 6:19 tells us, "The LORD hates... [the] one who sows discord among brothers."

I leave you with this final thought, as I've been rereading the story of Brother Yun, in his book, The Heavenly Man (for the 3rd time: because it has been THAT life-changing to me, ha!)

We as American Christians have this mentality of, "Well, I have every right to defend myself and to make sure that people only think well of me" when the reality is: Scripture speaks mostly to the actual reality that Christians will usually be taunted, looked down upon and honestly: tortured. And he quotes a passage that really hit me:

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, and that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.

1 Peter 4:12-14

I think that we as American Christians really need to humble ourselves and ask ourselves- and the Lord- about what is most important in heated conversations: being heard or praying for the heart of the people we're engaged with. And quite honestly, remembering that we don't always have to defend God: He does a pretty good job of that on His own and sometimes we just get in the way of that.

<3

the Problem with American Pride.

I believe one of the greatest hindrances to the Western Church (aka, America & Canada) is.... 

An intense lack of true humility.

Aka: P R I D E.

It's the source of all sin: Adam and Eve with their "just need to be like God" complex. (Which, they already had, but that's a conversation for another time.

I mean, Hi Lucifer, with you and your "I will.... I will.... I will...." statements.

It's why we manipulate, consider ourselves better than others, consume material possessions and even: murder.

It's why racism exists.

It's why we don't apologize. (Or struggle TO apologize.)

It's why people deny the Lord and one true God.

It's why we just can't let go of our opinions and feelings sometimes.

P R I D E.

LACK OF HUMILITY.

A lot of you know my journey, or parts of it (I'm still writing it!), especially re: my change in theology and Biblical interpretation of Women in the Church (or, world, really). And I never considered my journey in humility in it [per se] until a friend of mine once pointed out, "Shauna: That took a lot of courage and humility to go public with sharing your story about that change."

And I tucked that moment away until I could spend some time processing and praying that and thought, "Hmm... what's actually been the biggest source of my change (besides the Lord, obviously)?"

H U M I L I T Y.

Now granted, it feels like an oxy-moron to tell my story and to tell about how humble I am. Trust me, I still battle humility way more often than I'd like to admit. (Like, I'd lose count in a day if I tried to keep track of how many times I try to swallow my pride, be it thought or action(s).)

However, hopefully in sharing it, even just this little bit, will encourage even just one other person to change their posture before the Lord. (Because, isn't that really what our pride is about? Thinking we know better than God or know all of His thoughts & ways better than even He does?)

It's not a big moment in the grand scheme of life. However, it did change the course of my life.

The night before and the morning of starting worship school (10,000 Fathers Worship School), I said to the Lord, with my palms open to Him, "Lord, I don't want to put you in a box. So if You really do move in ways I've never seen or believed... then please show me. Just show me Biblically, not just experientially." (Yes, I know that's not a word, but I'm using it, gosh darn it.)

Well, let me tell you:
If you ever want to pray a prayer that God hears and will answer, it's that one.

That was the week that we studied Women in the Church, the sign gifts, etc. and I heard history and Language teachings and explanations that I had never heard before.

I was torn.

I was angry.

But I couldn't help but wondering if God really moved in those ways.

So I kept seeking Him.

And studying.

And within 6-12 months, I had, very cautiously mind you, began to believe in these 180 degree differences.

To the point that it's changed my life.

I have a deeper relationship with the Lord: I feel His confidence and pride over me more. I love His presence more.  I feel more deeply than I ever "felt" before. I cry more than I ever used to cry: be it deep sadness or deep joy. I love people more. I ask for forgiveness more sincerely now.  I see the poor, inflicted, the suffering and the racial divides more. My hunger for justice and righteousness has only ever increased.

After all, isn't that the heart of God?

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

I've lost count of the verses that talk about taking care of-

The Sojourners.

The poor. 

The widows. 

The least of these.

Numerous times in Scripture Jesus goes out of His way to love on the least of these.

There are the widows.

The woman with a blood issue.

Tax collectors.

Prostitutes.

Samaritans (a different race).

The blind & deaf.

Lepers.

So I share all this to say:

I almost see in a greater spectrum now.

So when, in past weeks (months, even), the racial tension in our country has been building: I weep. Because I see it.

I hear it from my friends who are people of color (POC).

I saw it when I lived in Southern California with the Hispanic and Asian populations and I saw in the South and even all the way up here in Maine with POC.

And in my deeper studying of Scripture these past years, I can't help but believe a part of the problem is: the North American Church.

We've stood back too long.
We've sat silent too long.

Demanding explanations and all the details without, quite frankly, just believing fellow humans.

We've come to believe in the justice system over the justice of God.

We've come to believe the uniforms over cell phone captures.

We've come to prefer the poor and POC in foreign countries over those in our own neighborhoods. (Let's be honest, most of us don't live in mixed neighborhoods, but that's a part of this story for another day.)

We've come to believe that we can put ourselves into everyone else's stor(ies).

We've come to believe that defending ourselves as people living in America is a God-given right.

We've become judge & defender & even perpetrator. 

We're bad at lamenting.

We're bad at mourning.

We're bad at being present.

Is this every Believer in North America?

Heck no.

Don't say what I'm not saying.

Is every Law Enforcement officer corrupt, racist and a murderer?

Heck no.
I'd actually venture to say that majority aren't.

But you know what:

There are cities and towns where the majority are.

So do we remain silent for the sake of not having others take it personally or feel bad?

Heck no.

It could actually be the one of the best and most impactful (here we go again, another non-word, but I'm using it!) thing we can do as believers (particularly us Caucasian Americans) is not actually do anything but to listen.

Listen.

Listen.

Believe.

And listen some more.

And pray.

Pray.

Pray.

Grieve.

Lament.

Grieve our history's beginning. (Don't forget that a bunch of white people murder hundreds of thousands of Native American's to live here. Oh, and still try to take their lands over. But that's a story for another day.)

Lament the injuries and deaths of our dear brothers and sisters of color.

Don't just try to slap a band aid on things.

Don't justify or defend actions.

Listen.
Ask compassionate questions.

Read books on racism in America.

Read interviews with POC trying to explain their day-to-day lives.

And if you're reading this and bubbling over with defensiveness and wanting to justify (or even accuse), then I ask you to do what I did [and still do!]:

Sit before Him with palms open and say, "Lord, if you move differently than what I currently believe or experience- show me. Lord, if I'm wrong, show me. Shower me with grace as I repent. I don't want to put You in a box. Show me so that I can have Your eyes to see and ears to hear and heart to love & serve."

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And lest ya'll believe that racism has not been a part of my story:
I would've never believed I was. 

But it took reading a book "The Hate U Give" and reading a line in there that stopped me in my tracks and I just started weeping and asking the Lord for forgiveness. Why? Because that line was a literal thought I had had more than one time in my life. 

Racism is from the pit of hell.

And unfortunately, Christians through the [thousands of] years have been actually perpetuating it. Believing in fears, lies and wrong doctrine. They acted as if Jesus was white and applauded their separation from [most] others.

But, as reality would have: Jesus was brown skinned and a believer of full inclusion. Women. Race. Children. The poor. The Rich. He didn't defend uniforms universally- but pursued the people in them. (Hello tax collectors & Centurions.)

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The only way that we can every grow more and more Christ-like is to keep laying ourselves down on our altars of egos that creep up here and there (or even blatantly) and let the Lord do the work.

But He won't do the work unless you're willing.

Are you willing?

Don't Just Listen..... Talk!

I just wanted to get on here and share briefly something I believe the Lord laid on my heart for someone today...

It came when reading Psalm 42.

We read the following in verses 1-2,

As a deer pants for flowing streams,

so pants my soul for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God,

for the living God

What's crazy about these verses isn't just what they read, it's how many believers I know that have used these to describe the positive heartbeat that they have towards God. Maybe there's an element of that that we can use, but, I mean, have you ever panted for thirst? The type that your throat is on fire because you need water so bad? That does not exactly sound enjoyable, right?

So, here's a verse that immediately follow them- verse 3 says, 

My tears have been my food day and night,

while they say to me all the day long,

'Where is your God'?

...mmmm... not exactly the super fiery love that we hear exclaimed from the platform or stage so much, right?

Well, what if you were told that this not only is okay and tolerable, but normal at times and maybe even expected? 

Not for every day of our lives for sure, but for perhaps even seasons?

Moses got weary.

David got weary.

Paul prayed for a thorn to be removed.

Jesus prayed that the cup be passed from Him.

So why do we put such a heavy weight on ourselves for always burning bright, hot, passionate and spilling over with love, for every moment of the day until we die?

Even just that word passion- let's talk about that briefly.

The Oxford dictionary defines passion as, "strong and barely controllable emotion:".

That doesn't exactly sound like the love Jesus often talked about, am I right?

Passion can be amazing- but it can also be for the negative and opposite of what we're trying to communicate. Passion can be selfish. Passion is seemingly for the moment- a flicker.

But love?

Love is patient kind. It doesn't envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It doesn't insist on its own way... it bears all things... hopes all things... endures all things. (See 1 Corinthians 13 for more descriptions about love.) Love sounds like commitment. Love sounds like it can get hard.

So, now that we know and remember that, let's go back to Psalm 42.

Two separate times the Psalmist writes this,

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him,

my salvation and my God.

TWO TIMES he repeats that.

T W O.

(And he'll mention it again in the following chapter of Psalms!)

To steal a thought/quote from John Piper (I read his book, When I Don't Desire God, How to Fight for Joy and this "thought" comes from that book.)

No one listens to yourself more than yourself.

No one talks to yourself  more than yourself.

So what if you stopped listening for a moment- but only so that you could TALK TO YOURSELF.

I'm reminded of a podcast I heard (Gravity Leadership) in which the guest was talking about "doubting faithfully"... like, how often we as believers find it to be a strength to never doubt or question. But then, if you look at the story of Job... God actually wanted to obliterate Job's friends because all they ever did was talk & quite frankly, listen to themselves talk and give what they thought to be the right answers. To the point that God said to Job- "Hey, go make a sacrifice on their behalf lest I obliterate them." (That's the Shauna Version, but, feel free to go look it up: Job 42 verses 7-9.) 

So what did Job do?

He doubted faithfully.

To quote the man from the podcast (sorry, I don't remember your name, man!), "Doubting faithfully is more important than having all the right answers."

So, to sum it up... as so many of you are at home (or work, like me)... and perhaps wondering how God will do x,y,z or how God could be still on His throne with this pandemic... or perhaps you're just so consumed with your own thoughts on loneliness, marital and/or parental issues, sickness, etc.... 

Take a deep breath. 

Read the Psalms.

Go to the Lord with palms up in saying, "I don't get this.... help me to see You."

Talk to yourself and encourage yourself in THE LORD

and watch. Him. Do. It.

Deep calls to deep

at the roar of Your waterfalls;

all Your breakers and Your waves have gone over me. 

[But] by day the Lord commands His steadfast love, and at night His song is with me,

a prayer to the God of my life.

                                                                                                             Psalm 42:7-8

Dear Christian: Your Heart Isn't Actually Deceitfully Wicked

Okay, I know.

About 92% of you just gasped and are ready to say, "Well, you know Shauna, the Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9, 'the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?' HELLO?!"

Let's do a study together, shall we? Really quick, even!

The Hebrew word where we use "deceitful" is the word, "`aqob". It is used only 2 times in Scripture and can also be translated, "slippery, steep, hilly, foot-tracked". Imagine if we translated this passage with those definitions? 

Let's also look at what's going on in this passage in Jeremiah. 
First off, Jeremiah was a prophet during Old Testament times, even during the destruction of Jerusalem. He was sent specifically to Israel (unless otherwise stated), to warn, rebuke and encourage ("to pluck up and to break down...to build and to plant". (1:10)

Let's now zoom in to chapter 17.
The verses before it are, "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He like a tree planted by water... It does not fear when heat comes... and is not anxious... it does not cease to bear fruit." (v7-8). Now, the verses before that (5-6) are in the negative and then Jeremiah says in verse 9 those famous words that we are now studying.

But what about the verses after?
I'm so glad you asked.
"I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds. (v10)

So even in just a quick glance we get a bigger and better picture of what is going on. Jeremiah is not saying to all of us today that our hearts are deceitful, wicked and beyond repair. Jeremiah is saying that Israel and us have a choice: to repent and serve God and be blessed by honoring Him, or to continue in our ways and see destruction. Because God will give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds. 

To further prove this thought and conclusion, let us just read even a few more verses about what God says about our hearts throughout the rest of Scripture. (Again, these are just a few.)

From the Old Covenant/ Under the Law:

Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart [but lean not on your own understanding]...
Proverbs 4:23 - Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from [your heart]...
Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a new heart...
Psalm 73:26 - My heart and flesh my fail, but God is the strength of my heart...
Psalm 37:4 - Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart...
Ezekiel 36:26 - I will give you a new heart and... give you a heart of flesh.

From the New Covenant/ Under Grace

Matthew 5:8 - Blessed are the pure in heart [for they shall see God]
Matthew 22:37 - Love the Lord God with all your heart...
Matthew 6:21 - For where your treasure is, there is your heart also...
Romans 5:5 - And hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts...

So, do you see what I mean?
How could our hearts be deceptively wicked but yet, we are supposed to trust the Lord with them? Why would we need to guard them? How could God be the strength of our [wicked] hearts? How could we desire and receive those desires if our hearts are wicked? Why would God bless our hearts? How could we love God with all of our hearts? How could our treasure lie in our hearts? How could God's love be shed into our wicked hearts?

So at the very least, from what we can see even just from these verses... our hearts can and are changed upon salvation. (And in the Old Testament, being renewed, as the Holy Spirit did not indwell, but came upon the righteous.)

I understand what people are trying to say when they say that our hearts are wicked. That sin is our livelihood until we give our lives to God. But what many are also saying when using this verse is that emotions are bad but there could be nothing further from the truth. 

Now to make life-altering decisions solely based on emotions, sure, absolutely: Don't do it! But sadly, the Church has almost swung in the opposite direction (though, as of very recently, the pendulum is slowing coming back the other way). The Church for too long has stood on principle and run people over. From the Pharisees to today even there have been those that have taught [us] to eliminate our emotions or put our emotions on the back-burner and just do what is right.

I propose to you that this mindset is from the pit of hell. 
It is what Job's friends did to him and God wanted to slay all three of them. 
It is what the Pharisees did in their pompous pride and refusal to have and show compassion unless it somehow benefited them... and we all know how Jesus felt about the Pharisees.

Scripture is full of the statements and mentality of "there is safety in a multitude of counselors" but hopefully I have challenged the view point of believing that emotions are wrong, sinful and/or something to run from. In fact, David was called a man after God's own heart, and is there anyone more emotional than David? He fought anger, depression and pride of course, but he also danced because of God's victories and loved God's laws more than anything else in his life (most of the time). 

I'll even challenge you with this: in those moments where you are feeling deep-rooted emotions, stop and ask the Lord to help you discern why you're feeling what you're feeling and what He has for you in it. 

Perhaps it's fear showing up as anger.
Perhaps it's pride.
Perhaps it's sadness.
Perhaps it's that you've come to believe that God doesn't really want you to be happy, so you try to not hang on to it for fear that God will take it away someday.
Perhaps it's.....you name it.

According to Scripture God... laughs. is angry. (In His defense, He gets to be righteously angry, but the Apostle Paul says we can be angry too.) God is love. God cried. (Perhaps He still does...) God got tired. (Note: Jesus needing places to stay and eat.)

Beloved, don't fear your emotions. 
Let your emotions serve you. Don't serve your emotions.
Ask what your emotions are about and for and surrender to the Lord in wisdom.

And please, PLEASE stop taking Scripture out of context.
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(Because even in this instance, I believe this topic and horrific explanation of this verse is a small sliver why many men in the Church are anti-women. They see [us] strictly emotional beings without logic. (But I digress, as that is a subject for one of my next posts...)

Words: Past & Present.

2017- Fears.

That was the word the Lord gave me when I asked Him at the end of 2016 for a word. I even knew what He meant: I was gonna crush some fears with Him. 

And man, did we. 

That was the full year of being in 10,000 Fathers Worship School.

That was the year I moved to Atlanta, GA.

That was the year I'd show up to a church, life group(s), leadership meetings, work... places without knowing people (except for work, but I had never done private ABA therapy before). 

That was the year of a nervous breakdown.

That the was the year I had a therapist. 

That was the year of believing in the Prophetic- and watching words & visions spoken into my life coming true. 

That was the year of a lot of intimidating conversations but pressing into them anyways.

Yeah, I wouldn't trade that year for anything.

2018- Dreams.

That was the word He gave me for 2018.

And again, I even knew what He meant: He was going to fulfill some dreams I had.

And boy, did He.

Beautiful conversations and God-appointments I could've never set up on my own.

My dream of moving back to Maine became a reality in June of last year.

And one of my favorite dreams that came true? LIVING ON A FARM. I'll even tell the story...

One September morning I was driving to an appointment I had for looking at a bedroom to rent. It was one of those (bear with me, as I love detail and sentiment) gorgeous-had rained-the-night-before-but-now-sunny early Fall Saturday mornings. And my GPS led me to get off the highway and take a different road for several miles. 

A seemingly farm filled road.

And so, as I looked around I prayed out loud, "God, would you please give me that dream of living on a farm someday? Even if it's not for another 10-15 years? I'll wait...!"

A week and two days later, I had an appointment to see about an in-law apartment.

I heard it was on a farm, but didn't think much of it at the time. 

Until I was a 1000 yards out (as my GPS told me), and I'm on a very familiar looking road... the very one my GPS took me on just the week before.

I started to awkwardly (but it didn't matter because I was alone) giggle and say, "Seriously God? This might be where I get to live?

And yes, yes it was.

I didn't even have to wait 10-15 years because He is just. that. good. 

2019- Yes.

This one's harder. Because, once again, I had a sense of what God was alluding to: He wanted me to say YES more.

Here's what you need to know about me.

I HAVE INCREDIBLE BOUNDARIES.

In fact, NO is probably one of my most commonly used words.

In fact, when I meet people and get to know them, I'd say, about 82% of the time I will say, "Oh, that's why God brought me into your life: To help you learn how to say the word NO."

I am, however, a solid INTROVERT. I can be a people person when needed, but I don't find rest & revitalization by being around others [most of the time]. In fact, I often have to prepare to have conversations, ie, I plan questions and conversations in my head ahead of time.

I have (or get, rather) social anxiety in the majority of places where, well, people socialize... to the point of having panic attacks.

It's why leading worship or teaching in front of crowds doesn't wear me down as much as one-to-one conversations do- I get a "conversation" done in one shot... (LOL).

Back to the yes thing...

So I knew that saying YES was going to be, well, exhausting.

But I also knew that saying YES would:

        *Bring new experiences

        *Bring new results

        *Produce a new side of myself

        *Increase my prayer life 

        *Etc.

And, it did.

It led to being vulnerable which led to beautiful depth with new community. (I won't lie, it was about February before that happened, ha!)

It led to a speaking engagement.

It led new worship leading experiences.

It led to being the Program Director at a summer camp.

It led to going on a date for the first time in yearsssss. (And no, you won't get anymore details from me on that!)

It led to stepping into hard conversations.

It led to reconciliation(s).

It led to relationships ending.

It led to everything I knew it would.

And guess what.

I AM SO TIRED.

So I started praying over my 2020 word and it only took a few times before I heard the word....

SEASONS

Ya'll:

I'm very excited for this word.

I have some guesses, but, I will say, this is the first time since praying these prayers that I don't have more of an inkling on what God wants to do.

But I'm thankful that HOURS after the Lord giving me this word He confirmed it.

A new friend wrote me and told me that when he saw me one time, the Lord gave him the picture of a sunrise over a valley... with a tree and a swing. That a new day is coming to my hopes and dreams.

I couldn't believe it.

Well actually, I could, because God's goodness is just that good.

So 2020, I'm ready [with coffee in hand]...!

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What's your 2020 word?!

Dear 17 Year Old Shauna...

Usually I write a "___ Blessings" (the blank standing for the number I am in age) on my birthday. But I decided to change it up today. These letters were all the rage earlier this year, and since I'm not into fads: I waited until they're no longer cool. (Which, 17 year old Shauna, never changes about you... )

So, feel free to snoop this letter....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear 20 year younger Shauna,

--School Crap: 
You're a Senior in High School right now, and you have mixed feelings. You're ready to be done and out of that small town, because you know you were created for somewhere else... but you're also completely terrified and paralyzed in making any move. And that's fine. God is sovereign- and instead of being scared of that, you're going to come to be so thankful for that in the years to come.

-- FINISH WELL. Do the homework. YOU CAME SO FAR. You almost became a 5-year student but made the Honor Roll your Junior year. Don't let the joy of daydreaming keep you from being the best version of you you [can] be.

-- Don't cling to your teachers. Be grateful, but don't look to them as your life support. They were only meant to be in your life that way for your years there. Again, sovereignty. BE THANKFUL.

-- The mean girls- and guys? Glad you asked. Keep being who you are now: a confident daughter of the Father. Just take a moment to realize this comes from Him: not something you've just become and do on your own. Anyways, this takes you to the point you get nominated to be on a panel with a bunch of adults to calm all the incoming Freshmen. It's an honor. And, you hear from more than one teacher about how much more respect and joy they have for you then any one of those girls & guys. Believe me, they see you- and them. Continue to rise above it- you'll never regret it.

-- You're gonna stay home a year before you leave for college, but don't get anxious. It's time to learn to save money and embrace being home. ps, I can't wait for you to get the job you get. You won't even realize at the time how uniquely God has gifted you, and how He'll use that time in your life!

-- MUSIC MINISTRY: 
There's going to come a time where this movement called, "worship" replaces "special music" in the Church. G I R L F R I E N D: You can't even imagine it. Actually, you can!! Because those moments you dream of and envision while singing into your hairbrush every night to the Shout to the Lord album from Hillsong that just came out: YOU LIVE THEM. Like, all the add-libs, solos, harmonies: ALL OF IT. So sing your Jaci Velasquez and Avalon proudly... because soon you'll have the last day you ever did. (Until this phenomenal artist, Natalie Grant comes.. in that case, you'll sing her stuff for special occasions.)

-- The subject of BOYS:
Here's. The. Thing. I won't pack punches: you appreciate truth & honesty upfront. You're single even into your 30's. In fact, you're gonna meet some guys and date them, one or two of them may even break your heart & and you'll weep & pray on the floor. G I R L F R I E N D: FEEL THOSE FEELINGS. And then after a few months, dust yourself off and keep moving forward. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET NOT MARRYING THEM. I know, I know... #butreally. (That looks weird now, but you'll get it once you see it.)

     You're also... I debate on telling you this. But.... you're also gonna meet some guys who love Jesus but don't love their wives like Christ loves the Church. And it's gonna scare you. You'll have a hard time trusting men (which really, now that I think about it- it won't come as a surprise)... but believe me when I say, "THEY DO EXIST!" And you'll meet plenty of women who will take you under your wing as they let you watch their families. Shauna, they really do exist.

    There's gonna come a season where you hear the phrases, "You intimidate me. You would've intimidated me- I could've never dated you...You're so tall, strong, smart, really spiritual." Listen girl: THE APOSTLE PAUL NEVER MEANT FOR YOU TO not ever laugh around guys, raise your hand and offer insight, or to freaking wear flats for a decade for fear of a man not like or appreciating your long legs and height. NOT ONE GUY IS WORTH you not wanting to wear or look what you want to wear & look like!! DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING AT YOU?!

-- GOD STUFF: 
    You will love the Father, Son & Spirit more than you could ever comprehend. Start practicing the discipline of getting on your knees and laying prostrate before the Lord in your bedroom or apartment. That's something I never did and is my most important piece of advice for you. Beg God to reveal more of Himself to you. I didn't, because I feared He only tolerated me. LISTEN TO ME LINDA: LINDA LISTEN: HE DOES MORE THAN TOLERATE YOU-- HE LOVES YOU. ("Linda" will make more sense too... sorry, but I just can't help myself!)
     Again, not to scare you, but: you'll have some "dark nights of the soul". Don't be scared. Do what you did: Leave the Bible by your pillow. Put "It is Well" from Shane & Shane on repeat. (Oh gosh, you don't even know Shane & Shane yet. Just, believe me: their harmonies will make you swoon.) You don't, however, have to beg God: He is already near. But, again, referring to the above: Get on your knees. You'll never regret it.
     Without giving too much away, the second-best piece of advice I could give you? Always give your thoughts, impressions and knowledge about God back to God and say, "Is this Who You are? Do You work in other ways? I don't want to put You in a box...."
     Fear is your constant companion. I've managed to keep "him" at bay most of the time now. God never prepares you by instilling fear in you. NEVER. Never Shauna, NEVER. So if and when you feel fear: it's from the pit of Hell and you tell Lucie (aka, Satan, Lucifer, the stupid one, etc) to go directly back to hell because that's where Jesus will put him anyways.

Random Stuff: 
-- That conversation with your dad that you play over and over in your head all the time? HAVE THAT CONVERSATION. God's grace will be more than enough. Just... just believe me.

--As soon as you get used to the internet (out of college, of course. Insert palm face here... don't worry, that'll make more sense in 20 years too)... look up these two words: introvert and the Enneagram. Just... just take my word for it. God designed you- and His sovereignty is all over you... but... there are some moments where if you learned at least what it is to be an Introvert: that'll help your friendships and relationships... DEEPLY. You know what: I'll even just tell you right now. Stop thinking you're going to miss out on something and stay in more nights a week. That annoyance you feel when you're around most people? It's because you need time alone. 

 --That short, blonde, peppy and way too joyful girl you meet your first year away at college? PUT YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION to the back burner and get to know her. Trust me. She's in your life for life. To the point you'll spend so many Christmas' with her & her family that her kids demand you be there. Even when they're teenagers.
     
--You're going to become allergic to dairy. GUUUURL: Eat. It. Up. While. You. Can!!!!!!
   
--Don't be scared of Chiropractors. They're amazing. And you'll cry every time you have to move away from one.
   
--YOU ARE GOING TO TRAVEL THE WORLD AND IT WILL BE AMAZING. Okay, well, not all the world, but you will travel 9,000+ miles in 3 months with a bunch of strangers. You can feel the excitement, can't you? Do you want to know now or later that you'll live 10 minutes walking from the Pacific? and at another point, just six hours from Florida? I know you can't imagine it... but remember... mostly importantly:

COURAGEOUS IS THE TRUE YOU.

You see her from time to time now. She's the one standing up for abortion in front of her whole class and getting mocked. She's the one who gets asked to be on panels. She's the one who won the talent Contest at CHS the year before. She's the you that will win 2nd Place at an event at a JMG State meet. She's the you that makes up a couple of the coolest parts of the Senior Dance off. She's the you who walks with her head up despite wanting to have committed suicide back in Middle School because of the bullies. She's the you who knows that God is real and you're willing to pursue obeying Him despite what those closest to you believe. 

COURAGEOUS IS THE TRUE YOU.

So, 20 year younger Shauna,

You got this. Like, REALLY you got this.

'Cause He's got you in the palm of His hand.

<3

Future You.

It's More than Abortion.

It's more than abortion that I'm concerned about.

It's souls.
The souls of the unborn.
The souls of the doctors.
The souls of the mothers.
The souls of the fathers.
The souls of the politicians.
The souls of "believers".
The souls of those who don't believe.

See, our first and foremost call in life, dear believer, is to love God.
Then to love our neighbor.

I'm a defender and fighter-for-others by nature. Particularly those who can't and/or won't fight for themselves. And that goes for the unborn.

But as I watched social media B L O W    U P over the New York state decision to legalize abortion and I began to see more and more harsh words thrown around by Christians, it got me thinking.

It got me thinking about how what we stand for is more than politics and paper.
It got me thinking about how nowhere in Scripture do we find the world is going to get better and better until Jesus comes.
It got me thinking that America's promised nothing in Scripture.
It got me thinking about how many women must be terrified when they enter a hospital or clinic.
It got me thinking about the dads who don't know- or the dads, well, the dads.
It got me thinking about my college paper I did on abortion, and the statistics of the emotional effects from abortions even 20+ years later.
It got me thinking those who perform the abortions or talk with the women.
It got me thinking about the politicians.
It got me thinking about Christians slandering "pro-choicers" for their thoughts.

Dear reader, I believe abortion is wrong. I believe it is murder. And I will chat with you about that and not even bring up Scripture.

Jesus never slandered anyone. Well, maybe: He talked pretty sternly and not nicely to the ones who thought that they were righteous.

But the sinners? Gosh. Didn't He love them. Didn't He hang out with those who sold their bodies. He hugged them. He let them wash His feet with her tears. He changed His travel schedule to meet with a woman who had more infidelities than we know.

HIS HEART BROKE FOR THE MAN WHO WOULD BETRAY HIM.

Jesus was never surprised when someone sinned.

Jesus never looked to the government to save Him.

Don't misunderstand me. I believe as Americans, because we have the privilege, that we truly do need to stand up and fight for the unborn. But using social media and the internet and name calling will never, ever ever bring about TRUE CHANGE.

HEARTS AND SOULS.

How often do we pray over the doctors and nurses at the clinics/hospitals near us? How often do we pray over those women and men who will enter them that day?

And finally, let's remember that so many around us have had abortions. I have several friends that have... and by God's grace: They know that they are forgiven and daily forgive themselves. But I can 100% guarantee you: Calling them a murderer or a psychopath would've only heaped shame on them and made the decision and recovery even harder.

Jesus, on the other hand: I think He would've wept, hugged them and told them how much He loved them, and their child... but especially them.