I mean, you know: I get it.
The majority of humans will marry.I get it, I really, really do. But, not all will marry.
In Scripture we are never told Singleness is a season or stage. (Actually, we're told it's a gift, but, I digress.)
So why do we walk around saying and sharing that? To make people feel better? Because it may flatter in the moment, but it does not build someone up in love and encouragement.
And I know that from experience.
And here's the reason why saying "Singleness is just for a season" bothers me to the core: What you're not saying is, "You were made for more. You are not complete - yet."
Dear reader: This is so incredibly a.) untrue and b) unbiblical that I can not be in a conversation, overhear this and stay silent anymore.
And here's how this is untrue and unbiblical: EVERY HUMAN IS MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD: the Imago Dei. He may be triune (Father, Spirit, Son) but HE IS ONE.
Dear friend, you don't need marriage or a partner to complete you: and neither do I.
If you ARE married then know this: that itself is a gift! But it in no way completes you. Only the Lord can do that.
The term "soul mates" comes from Greek mythology (aka, not real life) where in there was one soul which was split in two as a consequence and had to spend the rest of their days searching for each other to be whole.
That is not you, me, or any other human on this planet.
Ecclesiastes (3:11) tells us that God set eternity into the heart of man: He is the one who completes us.
So do you see how that alone should stop us from using the term "season" or "stage" when it comes to singleness vs. marriage? In seasons and stages we're always planning ahead. Trying to predict the future. Preparing for it. Very, VERY rarely are we ever in it fully and presently. This is not healthy.
And let me give a personal example of that: I grew up during the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" years. (Which as a side note: I don't think Joshua Harris needed to apologize for writing those books. But again, I digress.) I've read all the other books that came out in the 90's and 2000's... always trying to "prepare" for marriage.(I went to a 4-year Bible school: Believe me- there was a lot of teaching on marriage. ha!) And as I live now in being 35 and single, I can honestly say: that to read and go to those seminars and conferences (on marriage, etc): it hurts my heart more than it helps it. Because why? Because God may not have marriage for me and that is beautiful too. Do I have desires that I pray for God to fulfill, like marriage? Yes, I do actually.
But do I think He has to give it to me?
No.
Do I think marriage will complete me?
Probably more than I should, but weren't you all naive when entering marriage? Besides, I've seen and encountered more marriages that I wouldn't want mine to look like than what I would want. So no, I don't think marriage will complete me.
And what if we follow that mind set--what do we say to widows and widowers? "Oh, don't worry, this is just a season." Absolutely not.
So please, please don't say it to us.
Only God knows the plans He has for someone.
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I was interviewed for a podcast by Hey Girl, and the 2nd half of the interview is on the topic of Singleness. (The first half being on Bullying.) If you'd like to hear it, head on over to the Hey Girl podcast or you can listen to the interview on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzMdAY2dXQA&t=1s
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