That was the word the Lord gave me when I asked Him at the end of 2016 for a word. I even knew what He meant: I was gonna crush some fears with Him.
And man, did we.
That was the full year of being in 10,000 Fathers Worship School.
That was the year I moved to Atlanta, GA.
That was the year I'd show up to a church, life group(s), leadership meetings, work... places without knowing people (except for work, but I had never done private ABA therapy before).
That was the year of a nervous breakdown.
That the was the year I had a therapist.
That was the year of believing in the Prophetic- and watching words & visions spoken into my life coming true.
That was the year of a lot of intimidating conversations but pressing into them anyways.
Yeah, I wouldn't trade that year for anything.
2018- Dreams.
That was the word He gave me for 2018.
And again, I even knew what He meant: He was going to fulfill some dreams I had.
And boy, did He.
Beautiful conversations and God-appointments I could've never set up on my own.
My dream of moving back to Maine became a reality in June of last year.
And one of my favorite dreams that came true? LIVING ON A FARM. I'll even tell the story...
One September morning I was driving to an appointment I had for looking at a bedroom to rent. It was one of those (bear with me, as I love detail and sentiment) gorgeous-had rained-the-night-before-but-now-sunny early Fall Saturday mornings. And my GPS led me to get off the highway and take a different road for several miles.
A seemingly farm filled road.
And so, as I looked around I prayed out loud, "God, would you please give me that dream of living on a farm someday? Even if it's not for another 10-15 years? I'll wait...!"
A week and two days later, I had an appointment to see about an in-law apartment.
I heard it was on a farm, but didn't think much of it at the time.
Until I was a 1000 yards out (as my GPS told me), and I'm on a very familiar looking road... the very one my GPS took me on just the week before.
I started to awkwardly (but it didn't matter because I was alone) giggle and say, "Seriously God? This might be where I get to live?
And yes, yes it was.
I didn't even have to wait 10-15 years because He is just. that. good.
2019- Yes.
This one's harder. Because, once again, I had a sense of what God was alluding to: He wanted me to say YES more.
Here's what you need to know about me.
I HAVE INCREDIBLE BOUNDARIES.
In fact, NO is probably one of my most commonly used words.
In fact, when I meet people and get to know them, I'd say, about 82% of the time I will say, "Oh, that's why God brought me into your life: To help you learn how to say the word NO."
I am, however, a solid INTROVERT. I can be a people person when needed, but I don't find rest & revitalization by being around others [most of the time]. In fact, I often have to prepare to have conversations, ie, I plan questions and conversations in my head ahead of time.
I have (or get, rather) social anxiety in the majority of places where, well, people socialize... to the point of having panic attacks.
It's why leading worship or teaching in front of crowds doesn't wear me down as much as one-to-one conversations do- I get a "conversation" done in one shot... (LOL).
Back to the yes thing...
So I knew that saying YES was going to be, well, exhausting.
But I also knew that saying YES would:
*Bring new experiences
*Bring new results
*Produce a new side of myself
*Increase my prayer life
*Etc.
And, it did.
It led to being vulnerable which led to beautiful depth with new community. (I won't lie, it was about February before that happened, ha!)
It led to a speaking engagement.
It led new worship leading experiences.
It led to being the Program Director at a summer camp.
It led to going on a date for the first time in yearsssss. (And no, you won't get anymore details from me on that!)
It led to stepping into hard conversations.
It led to reconciliation(s).
It led to relationships ending.
It led to everything I knew it would.
And guess what.
I AM SO TIRED.
So I started praying over my 2020 word and it only took a few times before I heard the word....
SEASONS
Ya'll:
I'm very excited for this word.
I have some guesses, but, I will say, this is the first time since praying these prayers that I don't have more of an inkling on what God wants to do.
But I'm thankful that HOURS after the Lord giving me this word He confirmed it.
A new friend wrote me and told me that when he saw me one time, the Lord gave him the picture of a sunrise over a valley... with a tree and a swing. That a new day is coming to my hopes and dreams.
I couldn't believe it.
Well actually, I could, because God's goodness is just that good.
So 2020, I'm ready [with coffee in hand]...!
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What's your 2020 word?!
