Stainless.

Do you ever just feel like you are not good enough?
Not pretty or handsome enough?
Not talented enough?
Not strong or tough enough?
Not smart enough?
Not rich enough?
Not as people-pleasing enough?

I have had more than one of these days lately.

As I lounged around this evening I found God urging me to spend time with Him and I confess, I did not want to. Not because I hate Him. Nor because I just wanted to continue to be lazy. (Okay, maybe.) But the root of my (dare I say almost) rebellion was I did not want to walk away with out more peace. I did not want to walk away with more desires yet being unfulfilled. Honestly? I did not want to be rebuked.

The following, however, is a (tiny) glimpse into my time with Him. (Note: I was playing my Jesus Culture Pandora station in the background. Hence the song lyrics that popped up so vividly.)

Psalm 37:8b "FRET NOT YOURSELF, IT TENDS ONLY TO EVIL"

"I see no stain on you My Child" 

Psalm 3:25 "I HAVE NOT SEEN THE RIGHTEOUS FORSAKEN OR HIS CHILDREN BEGGING."

"Christ Alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong in the Father's love
Through the storm, He is Lord,
Lord of all." 

Psalm 38:9 "O LORD, ALL MY LONGING IS BEFORE YOU: MY SIGHING IS NOT HIDDEN FROM YOU."

Psalm 39:7 "AND NOW, O LORD, FOR WHAT DO I WAIT? MY HOPE IS IN YOU."

1 John 3:20 "FOR WHENEVER OUR HEART CONDEMNS US, GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEART, AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING."

"We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony, everyone overcome"

"By Your grace I stand,
Healing is in Your hand.
In all things we know we are more than conquerors"

"I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness
And I know that You have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

Because of the burden I had to write, my sense is these words are not just for me- but for you as well.

Enjoy His words, Child of God.
He sees no stain on you.

--------------

Song credits: 

My Beloved, Kari Jobe
Cornerstone, Hillsong
Overcome, Desperation Band
Healing is in Your Hand, Christy Nockels
You are for Me, Kari Jobe

Genie vs. God

My pastor challenged us with this today:

Write down all that you want from God. The little things, the big things.
Then imagine that God tells you, "I will give you each thing on your list. But, after I give them to you, you will never hear from Me again."
Is your wish list worth it?

I have struggled in the last 6-8 months in wrestling with, "Do I see God as a personal genie?" And I believe it is a common struggle amongst many of us believers... just one that no one wants to actually admit to.

I have also had desires of the heart and have shared these thoughts and desires with many only to be told, "If you have that desire-- it is of God and He will give it to you!" and "God wouldn't give you desires and not fulfill them- He will!"

I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but that is a borderline (if not, flat out) "health and wealth gospel" lie. Not every desire we have is of God, and nor does He have to fulfill any desire or wish of ours. The Sovereign God of the universe owes us nothing and it is high time that we stop acting like it. Yes, God says He "will" give us the desires of our hearts in numerous scripture passages, but, does He have to? No. Is He still good if He doesn't? Yes.

I am only in my 30's and I am not writing this as an "I-know-it-all" or that I have no daily (or lifelong) struggle. I write this as a reminder to all of us Jesus-loving people that our God does not owe us a thing. He does, however, want a relationship with us. And He does want to be the most important person in our lives.

So in light of this reminder: what is most important to you? Your list, or your Savior?