The Reality of Mountain Tops

The reality of Mountain Tops is this:
You can not live there.

I love to worship God. I love to worship Him when it's just me (and my coffee)... I love to worship Him with friends... in corporate worship at church. (Yes, we also [can] worship God in our work, talents and giving [time and finances] and enjoy those times as well. But for the purpose of this blog, "worship" will be in reference to prayer, reflection and/or singing of praise to God.)

This past weekend I attended the Simply Worship conference in Lexington, MA.  (www.simplyworshipconference.com) This conference is designed to encourage and refresh worship leaders and teams throughout New England. A one day conference to meet others- learn new skills or tricks of the trade- and to corporately worship the Almighty God without the pressure of key changes or  "what's next" mentality. (That is, of course, unless you're on one of the leading teams, in that case... it becomes an exciting reality to think that every. person. in that room is there because they WANT to grow closer to the Lord!)

Okay, as I was saying.
After attending these conferences, my heart aches. No, my soul aches. Throughout the day, the prayer of "Even so, Come!" never ceases to come from lips. In the congregation I'm able to soak in the presence of God in a way in which is very rare in the other 364 days of the year. There is no "fighting tooth and nail" to get people to raise their hands to God or sing. In fact, as much as I love singing and leading others to praise God: I very rarely sing... I just sit or stand back and listen to the hundreds of voices around me... all expressing praise and adoration to the same God I love, know and am so thankful for. At about 5:30 pm on those Saturdays though, the reality of the real world kicks in....Of leading worship the next day....Of work and the exhaustion and stress it causes. The "where will the money for this months bills" kicks in. The loneliness kicks in.

This year (sickness aside) was no different. And as I have driven around the last few days while listening to the 10,000 Fathers (Aaron Keyes, Founder: they were at the conference as well) most recent album, "Invitation"... I'm tearing up, just asking God, "Why couldn't You have come back that day?" And today, today God whispered, "Because you were not made to live on the mountain tops." 

In his book, "The Heavenly Man", Brother Yun answers the question, "If you could say one thing to Western Christians, what would you say?" He answers, "That you like to stay too long on your mountaintop experiences. But life can not be lived there.... It is in the valleys." Even now, think about what a mountaintop view brings you: breathtaking beauty of all that is around you. But look immediately around you: there is no life. No vegetation. The wind is often too strong - the air is often too cold and thin for life to exist. Now think of the valley: Luscious. Green. Life. Vegetation. Flowers.

Maybe we need to change our perspective of what valleys are. Valleys are where growth happen. Those daily moments with Him and His word. Those daily moments of praying without ceasing (1 Thess.5:17) when you forgot to put the water in for the coffee... when we're stuck in traffic (can I get an Amen from the Bostonians?)... when our kids (be it students or yours) are on our last nerve.

Maybe it's in those moments that He is closer to us than we think or feel- because we're not acknowledging that He's there. Maybe we don't see Him at work in us or around us because our eyes are focused on that school bell, that bill payment, that moment we put the kids to bed, that meeting that is giving us ulcers to think about, that moment that we can finally put our head on the pillow.

Maybe it's time that we acknowledge that as much as mountaintop views and moments are beautiful, refreshing and even needed- we can't live there. And instead of trying to reclaim those moments or praying for the next mountaintop, we prayed this:

"Open up our eyes to see You in the ordinary

we don't want to miss You anymore.

Open up every eye to see every day, everything is

burning with the glory of the Lord." (Aaron Keyes)

The Pretty vs. Ugly Faith

In my Timehop today was a post in which I had written a quote from my best friend, Bethany, that she shared when speaking at a conference for Teen Girls (www.simplebeautifulconference.com) ... "Sometimes faith looks like dancing.. and sometimes faith looks like white-knuckles trying to hold on. Either way is faith."

Did you see the movie War Room? That movie was a game changer for me... but how quickly I forget what I learned! Remember the scene in the beginning... when Miss Clara tells Elizabeth, "the thief is out to kill and destroy... and you're letting him!" That moment hit so hard I almost lost my breath. 

But four weeks after seeing that movie, and YEARS of knowing and quoting that verse (John 10:10): I forget it. Just in the past two months I've: had to take out my first loan. I've had my heart broken. Lost my breath when looking at my bank account. Discovered I have a dairy allergy. Learned of friends getting divorced. Discovered that a friend was walking away from God. Battling the worst season of seasonal depression I've had yet. Should I go on? 

Don't get me wrong... not every moment am I crying. Not every moment am I wanting to crawl into a hole and not come out again. (Though, I have had those moments.) And today was a day chalk full of reminders that we have a mighty, sovereign and all-loving God. No, almost more than that: I know and have THAT God in me and around me. 

The first reminder today was in the song, "the Great I Am", by New Life Worship. Then secondly, during a conversation with friends regarding that song and I was explaining why that song speaks to me so deeply. It's realizing that the God who raises the dead, gives visions and performs miracles in closed and restricted countries is the same God I know, serve and love. [Disclaimer: I KNOW that God can (and does) those miracles here in America and Canada as well, but let's face it.. we don't believe that He does. Plus, with every home owning more than one Bible: why should He have to perform those miracles to and for us?] I digress, so back to the song: 

"The mountains shake before Him, the demons run and flee

at the mention of His name, King of Majesty.

There is no power in hell, or any who can stand

before the power and presence of the Great I Am."

James 2:19 tells us that even the demons believe in God- [but] they shudder. 

Do we?

The third reminder I had was tonight, while washing dishes and prepping my meals for the week. In fact, I'm really glad my life is not on a reality show like poor Truman in "the Truman Show"... You would have seen me in my 10x's too big for me pajamas in a messy kitchen with tears streaming down my face while my Pandora Natalie Grant station played song. after. song that ministered in such a divine and intimate way that at some points, all I could do was stand there with soapy (or raw ground turkey) hands lifted towards God, asking Him to not only forgive me: but to wash me anew. 

And then I remembered, the thief and enemy of our souls is out to kill, steal and destroy. Sure, I'm about 99.999% sure that Satan himself could care less about me. So I'm sure he's left the "destroying of my soul" to some scummy, putrid demon who's mad that he didn't get promoted last month. (Ha!) But, what if we as believers started truly remembering that we don't "wrestle against flesh and blood, but against..... the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."? (Ephesians 6:12) 

What would happen if we stopped living to put that extra money into a nice house renovation and prayed to ask God who (or what) to give that money to? What would happen if, instead of watching that 60 minute tv show that you just couldn't live without we spent reading Scripture or a book to help us know God better? (Bunny trail rant, but seriously Jesus-loving-people: I see you and hear you get more passionate about Grey's Anatomy and Sports than you do about God... So I'll call you out on that: THAT IS YOUR IDOL. Whatever we get more passionate about than we do God is our idol. End rant.) What if instead of just scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and Twitter mindlessly, we prayed an honest prayer for each person that pops up in our mini-feed as we scroll? What if we set reminders on our phones not to just pay the bills- but to pray for people through out our day? Could we perhaps be like those [handful of] men in (Acts 17:6) that turned the world upside down? 

So my faith- and your faith... maybe it looks like dancing or, more than likely, it looks like white-knuckles... but rest in this tonight: 

It's Faith. 

May we be like the father of the demon possessed child who cried out, "[Lord] I believe! Help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)

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For those who are curious, here are some books that have helped to open my eyes to God, the world and Faith in the last several years:

Radical, by David Platt

The Heavenly Man, Brother Yun

This Present Darkness, Frank Peretti

Piercing the Darkness, Frank Peretti

Love Does, Bob Goff

Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning

Interrupted, Jen Hatmaker

Moments Matter.

Proverbs 27:1 "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring."

While (re)reading Brennan Manning's, Ragamuffin's Gospel, I came across this quote from Erma Bombeck, from her column entitled, "If I Had My Life to Live Over Again". She says,

"I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more I love yous, more I'm sorrys, but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it, live it, and never give it back."

Isn't that amazing? 

Now let us live this way.

Starting now. 

When the kids won't stay in bed. 

When your toddler is throwing food on the floor. 

When all your roommate wants to do is jump around.

When you feel a compliment on your lips.

When you close your eyes tonight: 

Ask God to show you how to be in these moments.

A Different Prayer

No matter your Eschatological (End Times) view:
You most likely believe that Jesus is coming back someday.
The question is: Do you want Him to? Have you asked Him to?
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This past Saturday I attended the Simply Worship conference in Hopkinton, MA... put on by my friends from the Andy Needham Band (http://www.andyneedhamband.com) and Greenhouse ministries (http://www.wearegreenhouse.org). It's the second of their conferences I have been able to attend.

And each time, I walk away changed.
Really. They are better than Christmas Day!

As a worship leader, I love to sing. But to back off the microphone and listen to others sing to our great God is my favorite moment. My heart overflows with gratitude to see His people talking with Him and praising Him.

And in that moment, I can stop leading and do the same.

But something struck me during the middle of one of the worship gatherings at the conference:The last time I remember truly asking the Lord to come back was at the previous conference about one year before. And I do not mean in a, "Lord, I'm so sick of this world and weariness..." but a true, "Lord, I just want to finally meet You face to face.." kind of way. Tears streamed down my face off and on through out the worship times together.... some of it because sometimes I just take it for granted that the Sovereign Being in and of the Universe loves me... and sometimes, because I just wanted to be in His presence: forever.

So the question is this: why have I not wanted or prayed for Jesus to come back again? And again, not out of frustration or weariness (though those are not bad reasons in themselves) but out of pure love and readiness to see Jesus?

Well, I wish that my answer was spiritually uplifting... but unfortunately, I think the answer lies more within the desires of this world entering my spirit. The love of money, comparisons, distractions and sin, just to name a few.

I'm not proud of this. One bit.

In his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning states, "One thing we do know: We don't comprehend the love of Jesus Christ... Calvary cries out more clearly than any theology textbook we do not know our God. We have not grasped the truth in the First Letter of John: 'In this is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us...'

I remember in college telling a friend, "I wish I loved Jesus more." His response? "So ask for more love for Him: I started praying that... and He keeps answering!"

So I challenge you as I begin to challenge myself:
Let us pray a different prayer: let us pray to see Him, and soon... for Him to open our hearts to loving Him more- the way He should be. As a bride and bridegroom are filled with longing to finally catch a mere glimpse of each other on their wedding day: let us pray to be filled with such love and gratefulness that we can not help but pray to see Him-- and soon. 

And in the meantime, let us do as the angel told the Apostle John while he wrote the book of Revelation (22:9):

Worship God.

A [Single's] Holiday Perspective

Even as I write this post, I can hear the, "But Shauna!'s" that are going to come out. I plead with you to A.) read this entire post first and B.) acknowledge this: You are most likely married and/or have kids... And you, dear friend, are whom I writing to.

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I am 32 years old.
Single.
I love Jesus.
I am not extremely close with my family.
So you know what?
THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS HARD.
Real hard.

As the years roll forward on Social Media, people often find the courage to write and "share" about causes that which they may not do otherwise. Or be able to otherwise. One of these causes is the, "I will not shop at __________ on Thanksgiving (or Christmas) because their employees should be home with their family!"

And you know what? I get it.
 I really, really get it. 

But you know what I also get?
I get that I've been that person that once worked at 16 hour shift at a Girl's Shelter on Christmas Day for no other reason than, well, "I'd rather work on Christmas than be alone all day."

Being in your head can be a really dangerous place for someone during the Holiday Season. Even now, as I am the healthiest I have ever been, spiritually, physically and emotionally I can honestly say: I am bracing myself for this upcoming Season. And to add to that, I'm so looking forward to this Season.

But I have not always looked forward to the Holiday Season.

I've had years of living paycheck to paycheck and feeling guilty for any purchase: never mind a gift. Having jobs that I wasn't particularly happy in. Years of having to figure out life and major life-decisions without someone to walk through it all with. Years of needing that time and a half to help pay for a Christmas gift or a bill. Years of crying while hearing, "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and not being able to explain why the tears are flowing.

I have been so blessed to have families "adopt" me during the Holiday Season. My best friend and her family have adopted me now for several years for Christmas. (In fact, the part of the tradition I bring is making Christmas Breakfast- or the Christmas Breakfast/Dinner). Friends of mine in NH have adopted me the last couple of years for Thanksgiving. I, of course, have my moments of just wanting to curl up in a corner and hide sometimes.. and sometimes I do. But even in that: it's nice to hear voices and laughter around those corners.

This year I am hoping to start a new tradition. I've invited a young co-worker to come to my place for Thanksgiving Day. It is time that I begin to reach out to others the way that so many have reached out to me and given me a place to not hear silence.

So my request to you is this... Though America is all about being corporate and making as much money as possible, that those who may be working at the grocery stores and coffee places may rather be at work that day than to be home alone. Of course, I'm sure that many would rather be home, but I am telling you from a place of experience: I would have rather have been at work.

So maybe when you go into Starbucks or your local grocery store, you could bless them by giving them something: a gift card. A "thank you". [Lord knows if you live in the Boston area, we are not known for being friendly people... we're known for our cut-offs: verbally and with our cars.] Who knows, maybe you could even invite a stranger to your dinner.

So, as you stress out over where Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner is going to be hosted in a few weeks.. and over what to make and what to bring.... I plead with you to look around. At the very least, you have stressed out because there are people in your life: Not everyone has that option. Is there someone that just transferred to your work and may not have family around? Is there someone at your church that is new or you notice just sort of looks around, too shy to start a conversation? Or perhaps, just perhaps it's the person right under your nose... that you never thought would struggle with being alone, but truly is.

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"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others...So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone... [For] the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." (Philippians 2:4, Galatians 6:9,10 & Matthew 25:40.)

Reaction vs. Action

"Thankfulness should be a reaction."

                                                     -Derek Duncan

This is an area of my life that I sense God has been stirring in me. It started almost two years ago while reading a devotional ("Choosing Gratitude", Nancy De Moss) that recommended writing 5 things every day that you are thankful for.. whether it's the curtains on your window or the car in your driveway... The "Experiencing God" study by Henry Blackaby was life-changing as well, as every day you are to pray, "Lord, open my eyes to what You are doing around me..." May I tell you now, dear friend: One can only be thankful when He opens your eyes to where He is around you.

I could go on to tell the various literal hundreds of stories that could encompass how God has shown me when to be thankful and for what, but for now, I'll just share a few.

This summer was the hardest summer I had ever spent at my favorite place on earth (www.lwcamp.com) ... I felt defeated. I felt angry. I felt justified. I felt entitled...I felt... I ... I... I... It was bad. Thankfully, beautiful souls have reminded me that it is when we are weak that He is strong (II Corinthians 12:8,9) and that He finally gets to work. Nothing is beyond His control. (Just use the whole Bible for that reference!) So I've decided to be thankful... thankful that I was able to be where He wanted me. Thankful to be surrounded by godly men and women who spoke Truth into my life. Thankful to be constantly witness to His beautiful creation. Thankful for a sun tan and novel reading. Thankful for air conditioning. Thankful that He (hopefully) still used me despite myself. THANKFUL.

The Fall came.. bringing with it huge changes and challenges. A hunt for a new place to live. A new roommate. Finances. The singing of the National Anthem.The loss of a friendship. The addition of a second job and all that that entails. You know what? God has provided the grace and strength for every one of these. (And because of this, I know that He will continue to!) These could be small challenges for you- but big and/or complicated for me. In fact He has poured His grace over me so abundantly I have shed tears of joy for the glimpses that He has shared in what He is doing around me... perhaps even through me. As John Piper is noted for saying, "In any given moment God could be doing 10,000 things.. but He may only show you 2 or 3 of those..." I. Am. Just. So. Thankful. And at times, rendered speechless.

My prayer for asking God to open my eyes to what HE is doing around me is being answered.. and to that I am thankful. Reactionally thankful. I pray for it to be even more so as the Winter comes, bringing with it the "Winter Blues". 

May His grace and strength build a wall of un-penetrable thankfulness in us and around us.

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(*For further study, just a FEW of the verses to read on Thankfulness and Rejoicing, read, Philippians 4:4, 6, Colossians 3:15, 16, 17, 4:2, 1 Thessalonians 5:16, 18, 1 Timothy 6:6... just as a jump start.)

the Little Things.

I was recently reading, "The Noticer", by Andy Andrews when I came across this:

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'"Have you ever been bit by an elephant?" the old man asked. Henry shook his head. "How about a mosquito?" Jones offered. 

"Of course," Henry answered.

"You see what I mean?" Jones said... "It's the small stuff that'll get to you!"'
 ----

I was not sure at first as to why this little part stuck out to me then upon some thought and analyzing I realized, "It's. So. True."

In the Christian community there is a common phrase, "When I fell into sin." Wrong. Absolutely, wrong. No one falls into sin. It is little steps. Maybe not all of those steps are sinful, but they are steps. How do I know this?

Experience.

Also, Scripture. Hebrews 12: 1b-2a tells us, "let us also lay aside every weight, and sin, which clings so closely..." Note the comma, in the original language and in ours as well, there is a break there, telling us that there is a difference between sin and hindrances.

So what "gets us"?
The small stuff.

The pushing aside of quiet times. The number of beers. The tv shows. The places we spend most of our time. The people we spend most of our time with. The spending (or gathering) of money. Our thought lives.

Are these things (or people) in our lives necessarily bad things? No! Not at all! But does it encourage you and lighten you? Or does it cause you to over-analyze yourself and others and/or situations?

Matt Chandler in his Philippians DVD (and study) series challenges you with this thought. "What stirs your affections for Christ?" For me? Honestly? Coffee. Movies. Books. Music. But, he then challenges you with this thought as well, "What robs you of your affections for Christ?" For me? Some of those same things. Example: TV and Movies with too much surface-y emotionalism or sex- or violence can. In fact, as an encouragement to you I will tell you that I chose to watch tv/movies only on the weekends so that I can focus more on reading, and oh, other humans. And Jesus. All that time spent watching unreal people live was robbing me of living my own life- and time with the Lord.

So today, I challenge you with this thought: There is a difference between sin and hindrances. And since you can not bring anything with you except your soul with you to heaven: what will you focus on while you remain here on earth? And remember, one step is one step... but the question is: and what direction are you going in?